Accidents. Wise sages remind us constantly that they are sure to occur, and they are right. Friday morning I had an accident while driving to pick up a friend for work. It was violent and immediate. One moment I was driving down the road, the next moment there was a horrific crashing sound and glass flying throughout the car. I spent the day recovering from the bruises and picking the glass out of my hair, my mouth, and my pockets. I also thought long and hard about the tenuousness of life.
On a conscious level we all know that there are no guarantees in life. This moment may be the last moment we are gifted with. I have experienced this numerous times in my life and in my teaching. My administrator coming to my classroom to pull me out into the hallway to tell me, with a reassuring hand on my shoulder, that my mother was dying, the knock on my classroom door to inform me that one of my beloved students had been killed in an accident, the dreaded phone call in the middle of the night. I know full well that our lives are but a whisper.
The accident Friday morning reminded me of that in the most jolting of ways. I left my house happy that morning, anticipating a drive through the park that I seldom make in the early morning light. I was looking forward to the time I would spend with my students and the weekend that was a few short hours away. My iPod was playing one of my favorite tunes, and then…everything changed in a moment. My husband, with tears in his eyes, tells me I am lucky to be alive after what happened, and I feel the same. We are always lucky to be alive, though, aren’t we? So many people don’t survive the accidents that come their way and our lives, truly, are never fully in our control. That is both frightening and reassuring. It is the unexpected that makes our lives interesting and joyful, and even, at times, difficult and overwhelming.
Now, a few days later, in the aftermath of the accident, I am left with the problem of buying a new car, filling out an accident report, and dealing with the insurance. I am still bewildered and perplexed by what happened, as well as extremely conscious of the fact that it is good to be taking a breath today and thinking of tomorrow.
The accident keeps running through my mind and I think of the moment immediately following the crash. I sat in my car, stunned, realizing that the paradigm of my morning had shifted. What I expected had not occurred and what I had not expected had resulted in a terrible moment. I remember telling myself, “Just breath. Take a breath and everything will be ok.” That thought kept me rational in that startling moment. I am thinking it is a good mantra for every day.
